
I use light weights and do high reps so that I can increase definition without building bulk. My upper body is big enough and it's already difficult enough for me to buy a shirt. Most 2Xs no longer fit and try to find a larger size that's not tailored for a fat guy.
I use the Bowflex SelectTech 552 dumbbells pictured in this post. They replace 15 sets of dumbbells and allow me to adjust the weight from 5 to 52.5 pounds. I have had these dumbbells for a few years now and love them. Although expensive, they are very well made and extremely convenient. Bowflex has a second version which goes up to 90 pounds, but I'm not that crazy.
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